Friday, August 24, 2012

What It Represents...

I have a love-hate relationship with my new classroom.  My classroom is my abode.  It is my castle.   But this time around - in this new school, in this new classroom...  I'm not quite sure about it...   I am uncomfortable.  It has so many challenges - forcing me to break grooves that have really worked for me.  It is a constant reminder of what I have left behind and all the challenges that go along with that.  The spaces.  The people.  The spirit.  The work.  It's all different.  It's constantly thrust in my face as I wander the halls alone, bang and bruise my hips into hard corners of platforms and tables that serve an earlier purpose, when I can't see the door or get to the phone on time or have to disappear behind the support beam that holds the 50 year old ceiling above my head during class.  It is, at times, an overwhelming,  powerfully marginalizing, and isolating experience.  

And yet I'm also very proud of what I've created in this silly room.  So full of  contradictions.  It's bright and dank.  It has a wall of windows and is absolutely huge.  It's an old science room with built in platform sinks, gas hook ups and random rough-ins  in the walls.  The floor is cracking and crumbling up toward the ceiling,  the chairs stick to the wax on the floor from the humidity, and every now and again the smell of dissected frog wafts about the room like a thick fog.   It isn't the warm, inviting literary space I wanted to create.   Despite my best efforts, it still feels a bit cave-like to me.  But cave or not... it's mine.  And that's a start.  


So many little moments.   Little spaces that oooze me.  Oooze who I am and where I've come from.   Special items of big and little consequence; from the lava lamp my grandmother gave to me when I was 15 years old, to the lone surviving post-it from an adoring student/teacher prank.   So many memories of so many places and people that, when put together, feel rather special, indeed.   






















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